Bewildered

Recently, i don't normally blog on Saturdays as exams' coming Thurs. MSN auto logged on and my ex-colleague asked me how am i doing. Told him about the exams, and there he has to "suan" me about SIA testing us on the different ways to smile???!?!?!?!!

Yeah, he meant it to be a joke, and neither do i think he was intentionally being crude, but this isn't the first time they kinda "insult" cabin crew. I guess he/they didn't realise that their comments carried connotations of sacarsm and disdain. *Tsk* Give me some respect pls....
Situation Awareness, something we all ought to have.

But had i not log on, i would have missed the chance talking to and updating the Babe. Nope, it should be Babes =p

Dear girl, i am absolutely bewildered that you're going to be a mummy soon =) Had to managed my shock, confusion, happiness and excitement all @ the same time when talking to you. Looking through your thoughts, i am amazed and glad that you've grown so so so much. Really admired your courage. *Hugzzzz* Staying so calm, your decision, knowing what you want in future, working overseas and jaga being a happy mum simultaneously.

Please, please take care of your health okie? Especially when you've got noone to look after you during this period. Don't overwork yourself !!!
Drink lots of water (i know your doc already told u many times), eat more healthy food, more fruits please and what else? Do they sell Yan Wor there??? Hehe ... i think you should be more knowledgeable than me in this area now =P

Come to think of it, i feel so small, so protected, so naive and childish all of a sudden. (Don't worry i'm fine, just reflecting)

Not long ago, we (amongst current classmates) were all talking about relationships and marriages. Was a little confused and certainly felt that i'm not ready for marriage yet. But i do love Pi. Simply not ready. Partly cos i just stepped into adulthood, like being 100% responsible for myself? And i'm still trying to find my footing. Now comes motherhood. *Faintz* Honestly, i would have been super lost. I can't really take care of myself still, how am i going to accept another young being whom i must be fully responsible for? As i read, i wonder how it feels to anticipate him/her coming, how he/she kicks, his/her little limbs, reading to him/her....

Whether you are ready anot, i agree it's all a state of mind or a choice. Pi did asked me before, "If you are not ready, then when will you be?" When i tried to answer that, i realised i cant put a definite time to it. "Say 28?" It feels weird....
When it comes, it comes. Receive with an Open Heart. When you Learn to accept it and make the best out of it, that is when you are ready. Am i right?

For now, i shall still remain as that little girl of Pi's and Mum's. Yes, in Denial i am. Let me be.
*Seeking*Learning*Living*